Saturday, November 12, 2011

This week's 'scopes: arachnoid primates

You will feel shock when a spider monkey gets into your house through the bathroom window and pees in your coffee. Drink it. What the hell.
This week has been marked by inner pain for you, probably due to a bad batch of broccoli. Things will improve, however, when you discover that you’re going to die soon anyway.
You will feel disappointment when your X-files marathon is interrupted by a scorpion monkey getting into your house through the bathroom window and peeing in your coffee. Don’t drink it. The monkey is likely an Aries, and suffering from a bladder infection due to a bad batch of broccoli. 
A recent burst of self-confidence will be validated when your boss asks you to pose nude for a “customer service telephone representatives of the month” calendar for “charity”. Do it. This is also the week you will stop pretending you have any integrity. 

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